


Vanilla Twilight (An unofficial Bluebird epilogue)

by paperowl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, Owl City, vanilla twilight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:48:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperowl/pseuds/paperowl
Summary: Inspired by prompt #55 on the phanprompts tumblr “A fanfic based on the song Vanilla Twilight by Owl city” And Bluebird by lvckyphan





	Vanilla Twilight (An unofficial Bluebird epilogue)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic and it was a total accident that it became a Bluebird epilogue. The vibe of Vanilla Twilight totally fit with the ending of Bluebird and it just kinda happened. PLEASE read Bluebird first as this fic spoils the ending, it's also an amazing piece of writing.
> 
> For best experience please listen to Vanilla Twilight by Owl City while reading

It’d been a year since Dan died, and yet Phil still felt empty. Most of the time he could ignore it, like an itch that wouldn’t go away, but sometimes he couldn’t. Those were the days where Phil would sit on the porch, waist deep in thought, all night long. Missing Dan. Missing his presence. Missing his everything. Those were the days he’d write. Mostly letters, sometimes pictures. They were a response to the letters he’d gotten too late, the ones he couldn’t respond to; they were to the person behind them who he couldn’t comfort anymore, the person he wished he could talk to, just one last time.

[NINETEENTH ENTRY, Alice in Wonderland]

Dear Dan,

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year. One whole year without you. I miss you. Sometimes I’m able to push it away, to go on with my life because I know you would’ve wanted it that way. But Lovely, sometimes it’s so hard I feel as though I might die. I know it must get easier with time but do I want it to? I don’t want to forget anything about you; but the longer it’s been the blurrier your face has gotten, and the quieter your laugh has become, the duller your smile has shined. I’ve started to forget all the little things and I hate it Dan, I _fucking_ hate it.

It’s been so quiet since you left, so quiet that the silence is deafening. And suddenly I can’t focus anymore because I know there should be somebody else here, another heartbeat, another set of lungs, breathing the same air. And there’s not. Sometimes the silence isn’t so bad, until I look at my hands and feel sad, because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. I still sleep in your bed, I still wear your hoodies because I want to hold tight to the last thread of _you_ left.

Most of all, Lovely, I miss your voice. I miss your rambling about the universe. I miss your laugh. I miss the I love you’s I’ll never hear again. I miss you so much sometimes I wish you into existing, if only for a second. I fool myself into thinking you’re just around the corner in need of a hug. I fool myself into hearing you breathing at night. I fool myself into thinking you’re back again, here to say goodbye. Sometimes I think I can even hear you whisper, “oh darling I wish you were here.”


End file.
